I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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