Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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