i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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