you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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