At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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