the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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