Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
