Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
