idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Boobs speak an international language.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
