Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We left the knife in your bed.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
