In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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