So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
