wrigley field is MILF paradise
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
