how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's always time for handjobs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
