found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize