It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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