Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
