Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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