I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize