there was a trapeze. enough said
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wish there were birth control emojis
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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