I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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