I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
