I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I want a musical about memes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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