Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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