When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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