I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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