it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
