Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize