yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
