I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
