just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
