i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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