he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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