The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
