i don't like sucking hair
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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