We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
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You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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