I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
