Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"

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(979): View more from Texas

I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...

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(605): View more from South Dakota

just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

you dont

(732): View more from New Jersey

i dont

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(407): View more from Florida

You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.

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(415): View more from California

You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!

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