i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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