Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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