I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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