is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
