my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
should my penis look like a turkey
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
