I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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