I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
