i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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