no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
