I've blown a few things in my day
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
