Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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