After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
