I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize