suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
