The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i came on her dog
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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