i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
NoShamevember. You game?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
