But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This toilet bowl is my home.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
