I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need to sanitize my soul.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
