if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
