i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
