OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
