It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
