They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize