what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
