have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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