Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
