My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
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We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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