Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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