I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
