my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
