Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
