He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
