You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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