i barfeds in our rink
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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