tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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